Labile

hey there, beautiful ;)

so, it's been 2 weeks I passed every single busy things, and still go on... So, sorry I should say to you cause my inspiration... humm, I don't know, I guess it's hiding somewhere, or maybe lost, so I think I can't make a story or some useful post for you guys. very very sorry :(

haaah. some people say, in second grade of high school you should enjoy it with doing some crazy thing you've never done, or maybe go find who you really are. but some people say, it's time to take a serious way and think about your future. where you gonna take college, what you wanna be, where will you get a job, or... another else scary future things. so, that's what I'm thinking about right now, with big capslock in my head: FUTURE.

I still... yap. really really really confused, scared, worried, and concerned about my college. I've already talk with my parent when they asked me what subject I will take in college, and I said," I like english, mom.". but who knows? I'm a teenager, and I'm labile.

but yeah, I do like english. that's why I was very excited when I took english course on Mercy Gratia so I can learn more about english. for the first step, yeah, little bit dificult, but after thinking and thinking about english, I just realized how hard english is. and... i don't think i can be a master of english. hum...

I just googled about english major, and found that the only way to learn english is by get into english literature. by taking this subject, we can learn about literature, poems, and all history related to english. with our daily way studying english, the way we learn about english is also by speaking, reading, and writing. it's not so hard for you who can speak english very well, because all the books that will you get certainly in english.

yeah, I do interesting in english since four years ago, and I've already studied so much about english. the problem is I feel that I still.... you know what feeling you get when you feel that you can do it but you think you still... hum, what is this, humm.. deficient? 

Universitas Indonesia, is the best university of literature in my country. but everyone knows that it's very- very-super-hard to get there, indeed. beside, UI is located in Jakarta! the only town I hate the most in this world. but... UI is the best university. and everyone dreamed to be UI's colleger. humm.... honestly, i want to be it too...

Universitas Padjajaran is the second. and it's located in Bandung. but... Bandung? I don't have any idea where I should stay... and people in that city... humm... I don't know, but... I'm not sure...

hah. the problem is me, actually. I'm so fastidious. and its me who so scared to be independent, so scared to go far away from parent, and scared with stranger. I'm too worried if I couldn't find friends too :(((

fyi, beside english, I also want to take designing clothes. my bestfriends told me that they have vision I could be designer someday. it's because I can draw some clothes, and they think I'm creative. but to be designer? I like that too, but to be a real 'designer'? you have no idea how blind I am about fabric, fashion, color, and... sewing? oh noo....

I also want to be reporter and also interesting with FITKOM *I like writing*. but... it just some alternatives subject. but... you see? I'm really labile :(

so guys, can you help me? a little advise and comment would make me happy. :)